I was told ...

 blog getting shut down. that's a shame. but I've been humbled BY LIFE. so, AH well. as long as you let those close and those close by read my material I don't need fame. unfortunately my drug use i won't receive respect so on that note it sucks, losing this material. Mr. zuckerberg, its on YOU. "lol that made me smile  AND move my tongue." I understand life at an ivy league school studying so much is as hard as hardknock may get but realistically speaking whats to say on drugs, lookin like me I HAD TO STUDY from day I was born. so save your einstein for your physics course at hardvard mr. zuckerberg, Im illstein.

There was..

 a german philosopher named friedrich nietzsche ages back he was the biggest name in philosophy across the world ALL OF TIME i guarentee you 150 years down the road 2pac will be the modern day nietzsche. his level of creativity with song "me and my girlfriend" as example is #1. lyrically put together genius. It's all about creativity dont matter skin color rap or philosophy or rock or books. It comes down to being creative. Creativity might be the only gift I was born with. I might not favor myself but I do respect myself. so retarded or not I'll write you a philosophy PhD paper i guess mr trump agreed, ive lived a HARD LIFE WITHOUT KNOCKING YEARS FLY BY NOW I STAY CLOCKIN and with me forgettin to pAY older gerntleman one dollar, shit i donated five out of last twenty five being on welfare i had last night or night before that yes I REALLY FORGET. IAM forgetful heh

Illstein the illest.

 Try not to let your ego get ahead of you, sad to say I'm an addict so holding back emotion goes without saying.  forget the intellectual with my intellect fact is all.  obama with his yale nah i have osama going pale. i keep words in sequence despite fact I got sick once. i retired from reading now i keep it hood on the books YOU MISCONSTRUED MY LOOKS. the mentally ill makin money with rock rockin ya spleen physically deformed philosophy einstein it would seem im a realist keep it on fact too guns long and packed too saw texas license plates talkin a walk today look like west country keep it black too cant compete with me on the track too tho even asian u know that homeless asian lady its a WOMAN FOR PETES SAKE how SOCIETY AS A WHOLE watch a woman homeless i mean with men the sub-concious is always ready to face inconvenience by means of testosterone but ladies jeez, unfortunately although iM the american idiot i dont think homeless asian woman wants my "kiss of sympathy". so i aint gettin no play today. ive read alot of books in my life and stopped reading "The idiot" when he wrote of a virgin only been intimate with a woman once, kissing her just out of sympathy. "how is that for retarded." physically i dont appeal no sweat my verses keep it real - P man ppl wana talk about a rough life even with money i think the biggest strain in poverty isnt mean its primarily having a concious. 

So type your fucking fingers..

 I been writing my whole life. You never going to message a writer like this again. time flies. yikes. havent slept at all yet at 7am :/ zuckerberg im going to drink coffee and sub-conciously chat my jewish crime book. you believe this shit a chatting savant come to reading crime. Rain man, have a heart . save me ALL THAT MATTERS AT A BAR-MITZVAH IS THAT THE KIDS HAVE FUN. its true, yarmulke means you don'r resort to "Gangster shit". Im innocent I typed bullets in you, that aint crime. after  a sub-arachnoid hemmorhage 50 percent mortality rate at 22, my physique...I aint no gangster even missing the weird hat heh ponchik i cant really define is it "plain retardation" with no concious or severe emotional damage as a kid or an agressive autistic bear. a b or c. or combo huh fuck comittin  against crime with omittin im fuckin dime it looks to be ever so clear i stand against ever so fear i think of words in sequence despite the fact i got sick once. sigh back to my coffee and book i thought of a "BAR". i dont drink tho ttyl i dont know any of these "fancy words", I feel language I can feel where a word fits even if its not avidly ambigously ambivalent. chill obama with your yale I have osama going pale. america, I'm an american prorican. I'm sick and taking a leak and rappin with bleek and slappin the cheek and philosophy greek and my verses a trick and. jessica a greek goddess someone said she my counselour i wouldnt be surprised if nyc assigned me a "Solo client assistant", individual who focuses on my birdy ways. imagine the man who chats with keyboard 8 hours a day posting on only self-read blog occasionally coming to a suboxone doc looking with a fag hag with bunch of pretty boys around her makin the comment " he likes to cry alone. ". I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE GOT THAT IMPRESSION tears are nothing to be ashamed of and ill tell you despite hardships LIFE HASNT DRAGGED ME THERE YET

verses he pack in his voices and so he curses his lifes choices :(

 bars im packing though life lacking her breasts racking body sacking whats to say of heard im a retarded nerd i redefined suffer gold mined tougher anyhow boys and GIZALZ to have more money than i got heart id need a mortgage from the devil and my current housing situation ill take poverty over evil any day i pray I PRAY HARD thats how my father looked at it when he kept money out of our hands, me and brother illsyo his name ilya so his buddies nicknamed him ILLSYO. ha . he cant tear the mic up like me tho namean. i just pray for his sake some of pops was with good cause i mean shit what hes painted to this day is BERSERK. my pops a cold man. cold sa ice but he didnt show FEELING FIRST TIME IN 33 YEARS OF LIFE I SHIT U NOT 33 YEARS LATER FIRST TIME ANY EMOTION WAS DISPLAYED AND HE BROKE DOWN IN TEARS. damn. im on meds now so no koo-koo comments :-) i keep a positive outlook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and justin JUU-AWAY i remember in great sentiment whn u came on irc and u said these WORDS VERBATIM BUDDY VERB FUCKING ATUM" "i like girls but i like them as friends, im gay. im crying". save the tears for your momma boy! hehe

One time

 an older gay man from elsewhere saw my photo sent me to eat and go to a whore house he KNEW i was straight so get this i get there this blonde come out of her room naked not even smiling i still had some excite left in me though so I walked into the bedroom. she sat down and looked at me with a "so?"so i figured she must think shes that cool so I got naked and stood there and gave her the "well?" look but spinning back to REALITY man she took one good look at me and the afforded lustful desire died . she figured she'll lay there dead till i get off i got dressed and said im leaving she said what about your money? I told her "Aint mine, bye.". End of tale

Et tu brutus

 I bleed the knife of ceasar(sp?) shed my life will please her. so ceasar was stabbed by this brutus character and his last words were "You too brutus?" On prison, although I don't have much personal experience. I think a man doesn't really suffer in his mind till he goes free and if you're stuck in a life bid, that's just you there aint no beating around the brush. OR emotional comfort. Identity of which withers away. But ability to maintain composure despite absurd amounts of gathered up repressed anger I respect.I guess trump saw my life make attica look like disney land so he figured why fuck a freak of nature when he manages to identify  as man with all obscenities involved. this whole reading/writing shit I was locked up doing it 8hours a day FOR A LONG TIME to amuse gays across america, just a way with words. I stepped overboard with my kevorkian freestyle so even a retard shouldn;t be degraded to shitting infront of an attractive woman. i mean really, when you put it all together like my man nas said "put it together I rock hoes yall rock fellas". I never get affected negatively by a persons aura so I can NEVER feel a persons tension I recognize them by what I know not what I feel. Life hasn't afforded me much feeling. and that drug induced psychosis come on now DIP comparing to my lifes tension is nap time for pre-school kids I faced it head on. cursed with a concious only where a person was "too tense" to recognize such traits did I behave anything like a sociopath. like laughing at a man whos done 20 years cause I misinterpreted his joke but even with that theyre able to recognize hardship introduction so wasnt a problem there. and despite my size ive NEVER lied i've death defied and sad to say got high but high kept me straight i mean seriously to keep a man intact with self sometimes you have to skip on the book shelf

wit in a verse

 at this point i cant say its small talk but whos to say whos talking. I have a philosophy on what turns a man gay. It's when a man gets confused either with or by a womans love in the earlier years. incest is wrong much like homosexuality so with those two tied in, the child goes with the alternative wrong. we all get selective in our early life. with my essays they tease whos passing them  I passed on the SAT's  you see I grade I be you fade well  this wednesday morning didnt afford me the privilege of reading just trying to read my mind. WHERE ITS AT OR WHAT ITS WITH OR...WHO ITS BY. I've seen grown men over 40 talking about slowly getting off methadone and get on suboxone. they spoiled by life if they have to think twice. One time I got off 80mg ON TOP of a serious dope habit cold turkey I remember at the end I was at staten island ferry some business dude looks at me, then looks at his colleague and hes like "tough kid". makes terminal illness look like a picnic in the park. so from there on, drugs been nothing but small talk

..

 leaving the daughter of a prize fighter father feeling tamed for a moment not playing with feelings so whoever said that, spare me the small talk. tell them alexis. "cursed with a concious" my biography. writing is below me i wrote to entertain homos across america and used drugs to do that not vice versa drugs are a thing of the 70s. and this drug character put me on the phone and said "hey talk to this guy hes from ukraine" i guess her sister remembers her high school graduation me being first man to give her flowers with her having sucked dick of half the school already. "wipe that retarded smile off your face" she once told me. no more teeth, so smile ain't retarded. well, this is just philosophy talk  ok zuckerberg who knows you might afford me another day of your life, and god will cover the cost. OR IS IT VICE VERSA? who knows anymore, im not rich so i wont find out i seduce in addiction it will only deduce the fiction and to keep writing unless youre jack kerouac a fiction component is added sooner or later and with your right wing left wing politics assholes outa take a walk in my shoes and i bet the wings will be too heavy to walk with. so yale law wasnt for me. god bless my father for having me live a romantic life instead of cockfuck schooling. i dont give a fuck about image or selling to anyone. not sure if pops wanted to have me live or ruin me though .hard to say PUTTING ALL COMPONENTS INTO PLAY.  feline and the california fellow freak god bless you for peaceful time you afforded me. neff i dont know anymore like young slim said "fuck it im on once". with your politics right wing left wing take a walk in my shoes before you assign wing. i cant afford wings at time being so no opinion off hand or something. what does off hand mean?  beats me. the reality of it is this years of worthless reading but i grew up black despite my reading habit. as of today only phrases of sentiment leave something otherwise I read just to read not to learn. so mr. biden youre the pres, i wont comment on small talk. none of yours is small every last word of yours counts for america AND MAN I HOPE EVERY LAST STATEMENT OF YOURS WILL KEEP ME "INTACT". .. "whos to say anymore say as my life per se". - sickly P

I saw a man this morning that closely resembled marcy marc with facial hair.

you ruined it with hair. I wasnt special ed though I got the shelter bed I aint getting mad though its sounding kind of sad. I stay up on my shoulders facing faceless folders. huh ok well i hope im afforded the right to "keep my intimacy unless its sin you see". thats all marc just dont have them take my selfcept of A concept. dropping bad stuff for good stuff lets be serious noone quits smoking cigs i been missing my prayer in self deception sorry god bye from chekhovs the bet to jail im just too mad to sail . where that leave space for angry though never that namean anyhow the only type of pain i cant imagine is the pain of company during intimate moments ie: death whats romance if you dont have yourself to live it with not that im a selfish rat and on that note company is assigned by the brain not by the presence of others when you've resigned it for years of obscene it doesnt just fall back into place. what can i really ask anyone for, oh well