I'm death defiant

 neff compliant. got me feeling amped this morning. I'm sorry to the gay community of america for spiteful remarks but I've been in 2 comas sub-arachnoid hemmorhage so you must understand with that kind of "brain impact" oddities will leave the mind. When I was one and twenty, she's not ukrainian or russian or american. she's just a boyish retarded girl. pussy aint go no descent savvy ass over I bent to god I make the demand for christ be lead singer of my band. Chosing this illusion Bruising and intruding. I got one up on lennon you know what the man on...Waking up in the morning knowing I'll get high in a week or two keeps me moving I take very long walks to keep the heart savvy. because I never had nothing or noone except the mirror. Well ms. kareva but she's a white socialite and I look like kevorkian's grandson with last name geller. So even if I was a success wouldn't move you catch my groove. My childhood has set a wild mood to screen stayed glued posted video nude I be that dude. I mumble I'm humble tuna I bumble off the track I go tumble winning royal rumble pocket change that I grumble hope upon cigarette stumble ;-) Well I'm done writing nonsense on "my blog". oh yeah I'm the only friend my father ever had. truth be spoken take care

big enough to bum a newport

 ego true big too big for the oil rig.  im in touch its much too much lay out the crutch after i smoke a dutch .  waiting on homehealth aide to live. only job i ever tried to get in sincerity but in all fact, work was ruined ages back. sacrificed my life for straight sacrificed the knife for hate never say never might be too late. well im fiend out im going to wait for someone to "hook me up with a bogie." future stephen king line from an angry arab. a life as such living no doubt uplifting heaven amidst the cloud lyrical genius sick im all winning us

OKAY FINE

 FREAK OF NATURE AND DISCIPLINE DONT COMBINE. I WAS RAISED WITH DISCIPLINE SO I DONT KNOW IF IM GAY. MY JEWISH BROTHER WHETHER IM OF ARMENIAN KEVORKIAN DESCENT OR NOT I APOLOGISE. I FIRMLY BELIEVE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BI. COME ON MAN YOU DIDNT GET HARD IMAGINING GETTING PENETRATED AND PENETRATING SAME TIME. THATS SILLY .BUT LIKE I SAID MY MAN KEEPIN IT HEBREW JUST TO SAY ALL IS WELL UNLOADIN GUN SHELL AINT GOIN TO HELL JUST TO SAY THINGS TURN OUT SWELL NAMEAN I *MIGHT* ONLY MIGHT HAVE HEARD THAT RHYME BEFORE MAN AFTER 2 COMAS U SHITTIN ME MY SICKLY MOTHER POOR LUCY FUCK DROWSY IM DROOSY FROM UR OG RAPPER SICKLY P GOD BLESS MY MOTHER FOR ONE ...IN THE FAMILY BOY I HOPE THEY DONT KILL ME LOL THEN AGAIN ...SEXUALITY A THING OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT? COME ON MAN EMO THESE NUTS.  WHAT THEY GOING TO DO DENUT ME NOW , NOW THAT I SAID GOODBYE TO BI. AINT NO EXCUSES FOR THESE HYPOGONADS!

Ill whats the deal

 fuckin these dimes unloadin the nines im spittin the rhymes these are hard times. to Ms. imp buddy look like she street whorin aside fact u im adoring im boring with u baby id be animal loring at the core im corin snickers bar iam storing. Obama top of class at yale law in spirit Im black you brown with your paw michelle id hope you declaw cause lady look like she got no flaw. space oddity my precious jess i must say. me and shorty i adore see we can dance to barry white I enjoy the dance at her height reducing my spite . AND YEAH ARIEL THE NURSE THAT LEFT RECENTLY YOU SAID I LOVE U I WAS HEART WARMED ITS NOT EVEN MONEY IT JUST FEELS GOOD FOR SOMEONE TO EXPRESS WARMTH. ive had maybe 5 people at MOST say that to me my whole life. I"m 40 ffs.KEEP IT HEBREW ;) well okie folks have a nice day ok enjoy yourselves> oh yeh and my brotha who said with rap i can keep up with ya rhymes ...PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that will be the day sir!! k lunch time heh

Arthur piastro.

 "It diddles the piddle to stay in the middle". Another sentimental value moment in my life some schizophrenic chick said that when I  was in inpatient psych. I laughed hard. Hope you're alive, another rarety in life mr piastro i knew him from my first day in class at 9 coming to america. I dont feel guilty with drugs and him getting into, he shouldnt either. Equalled out on the karma scale. That pedo sex tape supported my romantic life style who the fuck would I have been otherwise 40yr old best buy virgin. craig on your list craigslist.org hope you dont look down on me buddy. Arthur bogomolsky as I said bro money would be my ruin and I HATE ATTENTION OF OTHERS UNLESS THEY ARE PRESENT WHILE I TALK TO MYSELF. Once again... - Parcissus. oh yeh, feline, my precious jessica got white beat tom cruise or donald trump dont matter. I dont love you steve. but I deeply care for moments of SENTIMENTAL VALUE WITH YOU. LIKE THAT ONE EVENING SMOKING A CIG DOPESICK TALKIN ABOUT THE CURE WITH U FRONT OF MOMS HOUSE. iF youve never cared for me, then Im hurt. what can I say, but you probably havent youre sober and youve had more addicts as buddies than I've clean underwear in the last year. Though I am quite the enchanting fellow. wtf that means anyway, I dont remember. I read half of western lit so alot of words pop up in my mind uselessly. but as I said, BEYONCE, the one moment of fictional value in text that stands out to me. IS the saintly prince myshkin who was a virgin sharing only one moment of touch with a lady. He kissed her, only out of sympathy. How deeply I sigh when I think to myself in prayer that dostoevsky was talking about a heterosexual "The Idiot" not someone self absorbed narcissist who stepped outside cause he got tired of the mirror.

...I care about you too steve. Thanks.

there was also

 angela naselli ann baldini and my fellow iles fan vera figureau(sp?) also bringing me reading material before I ended up in state psych. I'd say women rather than men but in reality pffft..cursed or not I was born straight and tyra banks damn that sports illustrated cover shouldve been labeled "Upping testosterone". my youth in building 10 taking inpatient psych trips over college of staten island well sorry I wasnt born for no fucking funny cuny Id rather upset my mother than embarass her. She raised a man leftist or not. The motion of emotion Im russian so that "if you give someone head...than you can...." etc etc nope I dont mind sucking dick but even if I love you nobody gona spit in my face like that. I dont care if ur wife daughter or whoever. thats insult gay or not. to telll a guy to suck dick. God bless my son boris moiseev pray he aint into kids. Guy had a past almost as difficultingly romantic as mines. sitting on a gold mine now or not...never. The day I feel unhuman or in any way above human sitting on the B1 bus during rush hour is the day I'll trade my SSI for a gun over drugs. How you think amy kurt and whitney died. Because their soul .......poorest. but sentimental value lies at 95 glendale rd wilbraham MA 01095 with Matt falcon. The only HETEROSEXUAL FRIEND I've ever had. Larry forever a saint, staying married to a church woman with all the money he's got. Dont remember if falcons took it that day when I was thrown into inpatient psych by the Illumnus cause Of my antisemite gangsta rap. IM no antisemite though was just translating cultural context for the 2000th time. I'd like to get a part job time kissing old dying homos and forgiving their sins. a dying woman , thatd be just foul. Im 40 today and I swear by straight  I WILL NEVER SELL MYSELF FOR IMAGE REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH MONEY. i ENJOY  being a bum and i love talking to myself in the company of others . if they  are aware of it, that only adds comfort.mY FATHER broke down in tears infront of me, the coldest man i've met in life to date yet. I just froze and my mind went blank, no further comment was necessary .  i kicked a serious methadone habit cold turkey twice so that pussy shit dont tell me nothin. but without drugs i cant enjoy books while smoking cigs. type one diabetes etc. Ah well just over estimating time left anyhow. but I would get off drug habit cold turkey again to watch you chat in person california buddy. you hold deep sentiment. before I die i dont want money i dont want sex i dont anything. two things that stand out, anastasiya kareva a night with her and knowing if my father has a concious. Parcissus. Have a nice day.

I get off on being a bum its what I do for a living

 now BACK on to ms impagliazzo sorry i dont like anyones face on my dick im straight but i rather give head than get head. once again i apologise for "spare me the small talk". talk gets pretty small but you dont get any smaller than me, being a man and all. and the california freak of nature you will forever hold a place in my degenerating heart. schizophrenic conversations that im always typing with myself. there i go embellishing retarded again. Sorry my staten island shemale you just too old. My taste gets narrowed on that note. how far back can my face turn your years alexis

and create biracials...says WHO?

 i lace the joints and call it wooly ive been handed cruely. somewhere between the metaphysics of retarded and gay is straight but what if you remove the metaphysics it all depends on word play jess i figured genius aint enough to seduce that smile infuse meanwhile you fuck me you gotta be a legend you truck me you gotta put the badge in as i said word play come on...need to shave ...freak singled out

yeah

 im beyond what science  can explain defiance was my game alliance became my name like biden im bidding im riding and ridding I JUST DID A 6 MILE SPEED WALK. I ALWAYS GIVE THIS POOR HOMELESS ASIAN LADY FOOD AND DRINKS WHEN I SEE  HER COLLECTING STUFF BY WHERE I LIVE AND TODAY ON MY WAY BACK I RAN ACROSS 2 ASIAN TEENAGERS AND ONE OF THEM LOOKED OUT WITH A CIGARETTE!! COINCEDENCES ARE GODS WAY OF STAYING ANONYMOUS. :-)

Et Tu Brute

 Sense of the soul, romance in my role. looking like me/built like me i would have NEVER had a career path anywhere.   ONE WORD ETERNITY.

 reason doesn't incapacitates I perform flawless  even arguing in bed or is it car going I'm all for baby u know how I do but do most druggies chose pain argument previous post I'm not afraid of pain can't impose further philosophy I should have went to law school I would have been a genius but iam ready to die for my father if it's tonight make it while i asleep i wasnt special ed odd composure adds supposure the thpught of ed cant see which way it tosses they gona make me or presupposes like i said id do anything to walk fresh air freaky regardless of location blah my father loves me  sigh i dont do fairy tales even if i sell them then i sell them not if i dont mind i have i hhave a mind I have strength in the human face is my father to say positive or negative I think pops has some importance not all presupposed come now

 all composed finito my mind develops it envelops I got patience even endorphin deficiency syndrome with out bromptons mixture Zuckerberg I guess u enveloped some chats but u werent a kid no more I can stay clean but rock will keep me intact hopefully won't die regardless of how ur beach leadies see it see or peep I have a concious I guess people grow attached or they grew sigh exasperated

I guess people grew attached but would they want to get fucked by tbe lord not in size as stated above I have a delicate mind

I guess Mr ROSENTHAL grew attached like I grew to shamella gay but black well the years can tell spinning either way a mind gets lost sometimes it's not that I'm too big I don't mind older too big to pArtake in I could take out adding up cochitabrity open to divert it's amazing how i get attached even if they they divert I can frame but it's ok I don't want too paraframe. I don't cast spells past the gun shells in oil wells things looking well I don't mind I  don't place myself above I cAnt put myself so far of tje predictment regardless of what enditement says but pops would know best I guess dad maintained composure for exposure I spent years in denial of physique the physique to be solved predictment to be solved wen u breed the whole concious u get. the spunk sheesh a human fate resembles mate if u want to damage mentally I stay physically I mumble the jumble justyfic able to tell stories in fable come the knight maple overgrown staple but over or under table comin offhand this label shit ain't no staple Im not top big for anyone so I don't .minding for somebody else I wrote I'm sure of it. I had some decision in my incision prior to or beforehand I go to sleep tomorrow night definAtely without a doubt regardless of where that leaves me I cant tell u wat to do PERIOD my father or rosenthal better u live without how or who or where how u see it i dont foresee neither do either of u but does fact entail my heAltb it it all added so it bad it goes to grind with sad if whoda it would bind leaving who blind thunk maybe sigh killin me not sure whos comment that was u have my word i go to bed by tomorrow nigbt

heh

 my childhood antonym was ROSENTHAL my adulthood is PACINO gay looks flawless straight n I'm straight look flawlessly gay my adulthood troubles mimic my childhood mumbles my childhood was much like the holocaust wat can I say I keep it the hebrewist impression the man supressing the scam I guess a. mature father foresaw philosophy sad to say onlyill lead to the wild but how wild implies reason fear of reason corruptive this reason but only eruptive this season sad to say i wish they only indicate philosophy open to interpret is ok I'm good top big for bad cant turn back time just as u can't turn back the dime sitting in everyday hard someone like ive had tough times romaoncant keep typing aggravation I'm willing to bend for my concious regardless of how I bend phew they eating me alive as long as I can take long walks enjoy fresh air however that is on pops concious odd how they develop memories I stand for good regardless of who I fall for or fell for past tense cant define whats to say bout the lyrical grind now ur angerin yet amusin yet angerin it's odd how it all develops from my childhood it develops or before envelopes before not prior to developing my don't Wana my mother to die sad to say I was born a genius what would it have been a gay man oh boy

fail

 feeling good cause U done right and feeling good about doin right the separate tales sociopathy and narcissism ONE THING IN COMMON with my pain I paint for the sane I'm saint PHEW NO SWEAT MY SONS WHOever that was hmmm pkie funny or amusing has its cants using the pain created a wider space how or even darn not glorious tonight but perfect I kid u not don't stare unless u helping of course  i dont want to be remembered as nighTMARE IM DRINKIN HEBRON DRAFTING LEBRON FUCKIN PUSSY WAS FUN SAVVY WITHOUT A GUN

can I handle my sorrow if there is no tomorrow

 as long as troubled ain't physical which is prolly wat they'll do to me bETWEEN LADY WITH THE DOG N LADY WHO SMOKE ROCK O GO WITH DOG LADY EVERY TIME REGARDLESS OF WHAT SHE LOOK LIKE *DEEP SIGH* YEA I USE DRUGS HEH philosophy aint mistrust it's cultural obscenities night buddies and uh I'm goin to sleep. what rain is to pain bleach is to my brain bitch I keep it sane from Missouri to maine buck in the left lane know that im all game

NIETZCHE makes me sick

 this is the most depressing line I've ever come across in a book. THE MOST. "The more mistrust the more philosophy." my son is HOMOED OUT.  on the other hand jolly rap lines comin from me. THE Will is SICK THE DICK IS SLICK. small talk before sex for walking owe no tax. I revive the rhythm ain't got no teefum ain't got no beefum smokin the spliffum Pacino the flawless gay who looks flawless straight n me I'm the flawless straight who looks flawless gay. niggas don't know wat a hard life bout. real talk I hope ur ok mr Pacino okie take care but the NIETZCHE line my pops tho sorry pa with selling drugs nothin foul bout it people will ALWAYS chose their pain in one form or another with drugs u just offering a form of pleasure before onset of pain HOW COULD I INSULT MY SELF IN FRONT OF A WOMAN CRACK ACCUSE THAT NIGHT REASSURING THE MALSURING I turned straight men out out of ultra sense of pity phew one word entitled post to huh ok brb there has to be a rhythm on recorded social structure or sumbing I don't know no just even if forever

I've lost the nerve

 hitting a spot that never existed a painless1ss endbb nice.

I create statement so accurate my father to kill me bad. potion asumewhwrrb it does good how r u funny mohaim de mohaim the.lohayem zabivaem 

deep psychology

 with women they get me hard but sex feels weird with guys it's the opposite. feels normal but I don't get aroused I mean it's happened but for the most part no. I guess being a freak of nature n being bullied so much defined the psych aspect of sum sort of SUBCONCIOUS repressing heh with dudes I always feel like I'm they mother or sumthing I keep it cool mensa member you just a fool it stands for men sexually aroused...mensa! I ASPIRE N DEFEAT THE DEVIL U PERSPIRE AINT ON MY LEVEL