I'm death defiant

 neff compliant. got me feeling amped this morning. I'm sorry to the gay community of america for spiteful remarks but I've been in 2 comas sub-arachnoid hemmorhage so you must understand with that kind of "brain impact" oddities will leave the mind. When I was one and twenty, she's not ukrainian or russian or american. she's just a boyish retarded girl. pussy aint go no descent savvy ass over I bent to god I make the demand for christ be lead singer of my band. Chosing this illusion Bruising and intruding. I got one up on lennon you know what the man on...Waking up in the morning knowing I'll get high in a week or two keeps me moving I take very long walks to keep the heart savvy. because I never had nothing or noone except the mirror. Well ms. kareva but she's a white socialite and I look like kevorkian's grandson with last name geller. So even if I was a success wouldn't move you catch my groove. My childhood has set a wild mood to screen stayed glued posted video nude I be that dude. I mumble I'm humble tuna I bumble off the track I go tumble winning royal rumble pocket change that I grumble hope upon cigarette stumble ;-) Well I'm done writing nonsense on "my blog". oh yeah I'm the only friend my father ever had. truth be spoken take care

big enough to bum a newport

 ego true big too big for the oil rig.  im in touch its much too much lay out the crutch after i smoke a dutch .  waiting on homehealth aide to live. only job i ever tried to get in sincerity but in all fact, work was ruined ages back. sacrificed my life for straight sacrificed the knife for hate never say never might be too late. well im fiend out im going to wait for someone to "hook me up with a bogie." future stephen king line from an angry arab. a life as such living no doubt uplifting heaven amidst the cloud lyrical genius sick im all winning us

OKAY FINE

 FREAK OF NATURE AND DISCIPLINE DONT COMBINE. I WAS RAISED WITH DISCIPLINE SO I DONT KNOW IF IM GAY. MY JEWISH BROTHER WHETHER IM OF ARMENIAN KEVORKIAN DESCENT OR NOT I APOLOGISE. I FIRMLY BELIEVE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BI. COME ON MAN YOU DIDNT GET HARD IMAGINING GETTING PENETRATED AND PENETRATING SAME TIME. THATS SILLY .BUT LIKE I SAID MY MAN KEEPIN IT HEBREW JUST TO SAY ALL IS WELL UNLOADIN GUN SHELL AINT GOIN TO HELL JUST TO SAY THINGS TURN OUT SWELL NAMEAN I *MIGHT* ONLY MIGHT HAVE HEARD THAT RHYME BEFORE MAN AFTER 2 COMAS U SHITTIN ME MY SICKLY MOTHER POOR LUCY FUCK DROWSY IM DROOSY FROM UR OG RAPPER SICKLY P GOD BLESS MY MOTHER FOR ONE ...IN THE FAMILY BOY I HOPE THEY DONT KILL ME LOL THEN AGAIN ...SEXUALITY A THING OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT? COME ON MAN EMO THESE NUTS.  WHAT THEY GOING TO DO DENUT ME NOW , NOW THAT I SAID GOODBYE TO BI. AINT NO EXCUSES FOR THESE HYPOGONADS!

Ill whats the deal

 fuckin these dimes unloadin the nines im spittin the rhymes these are hard times. to Ms. imp buddy look like she street whorin aside fact u im adoring im boring with u baby id be animal loring at the core im corin snickers bar iam storing. Obama top of class at yale law in spirit Im black you brown with your paw michelle id hope you declaw cause lady look like she got no flaw. space oddity my precious jess i must say. me and shorty i adore see we can dance to barry white I enjoy the dance at her height reducing my spite . AND YEAH ARIEL THE NURSE THAT LEFT RECENTLY YOU SAID I LOVE U I WAS HEART WARMED ITS NOT EVEN MONEY IT JUST FEELS GOOD FOR SOMEONE TO EXPRESS WARMTH. ive had maybe 5 people at MOST say that to me my whole life. I"m 40 ffs.KEEP IT HEBREW ;) well okie folks have a nice day ok enjoy yourselves> oh yeh and my brotha who said with rap i can keep up with ya rhymes ...PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that will be the day sir!! k lunch time heh

Arthur piastro.

 "It diddles the piddle to stay in the middle". Another sentimental value moment in my life some schizophrenic chick said that when I  was in inpatient psych. I laughed hard. Hope you're alive, another rarety in life mr piastro i knew him from my first day in class at 9 coming to america. I dont feel guilty with drugs and him getting into, he shouldnt either. Equalled out on the karma scale. That pedo sex tape supported my romantic life style who the fuck would I have been otherwise 40yr old best buy virgin. craig on your list craigslist.org hope you dont look down on me buddy. Arthur bogomolsky as I said bro money would be my ruin and I HATE ATTENTION OF OTHERS UNLESS THEY ARE PRESENT WHILE I TALK TO MYSELF. Once again... - Parcissus. oh yeh, feline, my precious jessica got white beat tom cruise or donald trump dont matter. I dont love you steve. but I deeply care for moments of SENTIMENTAL VALUE WITH YOU. LIKE THAT ONE EVENING SMOKING A CIG DOPESICK TALKIN ABOUT THE CURE WITH U FRONT OF MOMS HOUSE. iF youve never cared for me, then Im hurt. what can I say, but you probably havent youre sober and youve had more addicts as buddies than I've clean underwear in the last year. Though I am quite the enchanting fellow. wtf that means anyway, I dont remember. I read half of western lit so alot of words pop up in my mind uselessly. but as I said, BEYONCE, the one moment of fictional value in text that stands out to me. IS the saintly prince myshkin who was a virgin sharing only one moment of touch with a lady. He kissed her, only out of sympathy. How deeply I sigh when I think to myself in prayer that dostoevsky was talking about a heterosexual "The Idiot" not someone self absorbed narcissist who stepped outside cause he got tired of the mirror.

...I care about you too steve. Thanks.

there was also

 angela naselli ann baldini and my fellow iles fan vera figureau(sp?) also bringing me reading material before I ended up in state psych. I'd say women rather than men but in reality pffft..cursed or not I was born straight and tyra banks damn that sports illustrated cover shouldve been labeled "Upping testosterone". my youth in building 10 taking inpatient psych trips over college of staten island well sorry I wasnt born for no fucking funny cuny Id rather upset my mother than embarass her. She raised a man leftist or not. The motion of emotion Im russian so that "if you give someone head...than you can...." etc etc nope I dont mind sucking dick but even if I love you nobody gona spit in my face like that. I dont care if ur wife daughter or whoever. thats insult gay or not. to telll a guy to suck dick. God bless my son boris moiseev pray he aint into kids. Guy had a past almost as difficultingly romantic as mines. sitting on a gold mine now or not...never. The day I feel unhuman or in any way above human sitting on the B1 bus during rush hour is the day I'll trade my SSI for a gun over drugs. How you think amy kurt and whitney died. Because their soul .......poorest. but sentimental value lies at 95 glendale rd wilbraham MA 01095 with Matt falcon. The only HETEROSEXUAL FRIEND I've ever had. Larry forever a saint, staying married to a church woman with all the money he's got. Dont remember if falcons took it that day when I was thrown into inpatient psych by the Illumnus cause Of my antisemite gangsta rap. IM no antisemite though was just translating cultural context for the 2000th time. I'd like to get a part job time kissing old dying homos and forgiving their sins. a dying woman , thatd be just foul. Im 40 today and I swear by straight  I WILL NEVER SELL MYSELF FOR IMAGE REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH MONEY. i ENJOY  being a bum and i love talking to myself in the company of others . if they  are aware of it, that only adds comfort.mY FATHER broke down in tears infront of me, the coldest man i've met in life to date yet. I just froze and my mind went blank, no further comment was necessary .  i kicked a serious methadone habit cold turkey twice so that pussy shit dont tell me nothin. but without drugs i cant enjoy books while smoking cigs. type one diabetes etc. Ah well just over estimating time left anyhow. but I would get off drug habit cold turkey again to watch you chat in person california buddy. you hold deep sentiment. before I die i dont want money i dont want sex i dont anything. two things that stand out, anastasiya kareva a night with her and knowing if my father has a concious. Parcissus. Have a nice day.

I get off on being a bum its what I do for a living

 now BACK on to ms impagliazzo sorry i dont like anyones face on my dick im straight but i rather give head than get head. once again i apologise for "spare me the small talk". talk gets pretty small but you dont get any smaller than me, being a man and all. and the california freak of nature you will forever hold a place in my degenerating heart. schizophrenic conversations that im always typing with myself. there i go embellishing retarded again. Sorry my staten island shemale you just too old. My taste gets narrowed on that note. how far back can my face turn your years alexis

and create biracials...says WHO?

 i lace the joints and call it wooly ive been handed cruely. somewhere between the metaphysics of retarded and gay is straight but what if you remove the metaphysics it all depends on word play jess i figured genius aint enough to seduce that smile infuse meanwhile you fuck me you gotta be a legend you truck me you gotta put the badge in as i said word play come on...need to shave ...freak singled out

yeah

 im beyond what science  can explain defiance was my game alliance became my name like biden im bidding im riding and ridding I JUST DID A 6 MILE SPEED WALK. I ALWAYS GIVE THIS POOR HOMELESS ASIAN LADY FOOD AND DRINKS WHEN I SEE  HER COLLECTING STUFF BY WHERE I LIVE AND TODAY ON MY WAY BACK I RAN ACROSS 2 ASIAN TEENAGERS AND ONE OF THEM LOOKED OUT WITH A CIGARETTE!! COINCEDENCES ARE GODS WAY OF STAYING ANONYMOUS. :-)

Et Tu Brute

 Sense of the soul, romance in my role. looking like me/built like me i would have NEVER had a career path anywhere.   ONE WORD ETERNITY.