mishuganah

 sp? I listen to myself talk but I don't do small talk. I don't even listen, I read. a writing/reading habit over the course of so many years. I guess I've become a self-absorbed person, thats ok I got bigger problems atm. and yestrday belongs to uncle sam. "They tried to kill us, we survived, lets eat." -Some jew author . I hope they don't kill me. Blind faith I suppose in my place I'll impose. well, I hope they haven't found a new reason to consider a freak of nature a non-disabled person. This new found speech problem, I can't get a word out of my mouth 2minutes at a time. I get lost making 3 turns brain cant sync memory with movement. I was a straight A kid but it took me years to learn to tie my shoes. oh well, pretty big head over the years. Birth defect, cursed impact. I don't do riots even if theyre getting taped don't mean to pry even if the author getting raped. there's somebody for everybody sad to say shaindy eckstein didnt find somebody in her life time i remember she hooked up with some puerto rican guy at a meth program a friend told me "He's the only one that would fuck her". and man, her jew boy marc levy. or levi or levi's whatever you want to call em. asshole had a dope habit being a rich trust fund kid without a problem in the world.  r.i.p ms. eckstein i should have looked a little farther than tomorrow when I wss young ...but the youth of a NYC freak of nature living poverty life style, let me tell you west 23pj's aint got shit on that.

I favor jewish people and I would LOVE TO LEARN..

why they never have pets. only thing about them I look down at as result of.ah, well. its ok. A Sociopath is born not made. so they aint losing no respect from me. and IAM DEAD SERIOUS 21  YEARS OF DRUGS WITHIN POVERTY I HAVE NOT SOLD MY ASS ONCE. NOT ONCE and believe you me ive had my options in different states, attractive rich etc. whatever. NEVER DID IT. although there's an exception to every rule even for the few amongst the fool :) there is ONLY ONE IM A DEEP THINKER AND ILL TELL YOU ONLY ONE RULE AINT NO EXCEPTION TO... A PEDOPHILE IS FUCKING FILTH, DIRT, SCUM. I dont care who you are, rich poor pretty ugly tall short so on so forth, no exception. 

LIfe... a complex notion much like THE stormy ocean.

 Had a storm hit my poor mind at young age, disaster. There is a difference between excuse and reason thats why these so called moralists catching abuse this season. Only difference from a PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECT between me and pops...I ain't no fucking sociopath. I remember in 8th grade careers class I was put to work in a pet store alone but I had severe childhood asthma and with allergy to cats, I didn't last too long. So they put me to work in a kindergarten watching little tikes play and teaching them a thing or two. I remember I worked with "Shamella" and "Mary". You girls hold deep sentiment for me. doubt you remember Sickly P though. unless ofcourse one of you works here I apologise for lack of recognition. I hate people who are assholes toward me cause they can't admit they are in love with me. yeah, I've had a difficult and transgender HELADY kate (original name) I know you love me. cool it with the crack though cause closing ya pussy to get dick installed.....aint going to save you. Not every drug addict is like me, IM A MAN OF MORAL VALUES. I value a memory at west 23rd PJ's. heh these pussies want to call queensbridge ghetto my son try the adress I gave you. You'll learn what ghetto is. last but not least, as a freak of nature I've never held a real friendship with anyone and at this point noone will gave me a chance regardless so with small talk, WE AINT GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT THATS LIKE STALK THEN SHOUT. last verse I'm not sure If It was hypnotised into me. i don't like people who paint themselves superior because of their background as far as instilled values go. I don't paint, im not an artist so argument lets not start this. charles rhodes turned into Jessica Rhodes. JR ,, as far as JRs Id to meet you Jason Rosenthal colleague of my romantic childhood. with your face, dont know if i'd be able to recognize though. I really didnt intend nor mean anything antisemitic though I was just writing tactful rap translating cultural context. Sarah weiss, after what my father did to me I have to be afraid of jewish girls I'm sorry I didn't sell my ass that day. you seem like ok girl. this chino gay called me a crackhead LOL i got more values than you any given sunday crackhead huh stfu if im a crackhead why is it that almost EVERY DAY I see this oriental bum WOMAN collecting fucking bottles I clip my cigarette and go in to get food. While your faggot ass sits back relaxing eating your 99 cent chips not giving a fuck, a LADY , A LADY IS LIVING LIKE THIS. AND YOU HAVE BACKGROUND TIES AND YOU WALK BY NOT EVEN GLANCING HER WAY.  YOU ARE THE FUCKING CRACKHEAD  while you been living it up catching jizz shots in your cock eyed face I was living a life of hardships and suffering so enjoy your doritos buddy boy. i dont give a fuck if you big black small white or an asshole chino. you bully/talk shit to a sick person youre a fucking shmuck pops got what he deserved I took in a homeless baby kitten in crown heights brooklyn living at three quarter house on welfare and my father killed him. you could do that to a BABY ANIMAL you deserve worse than a damaged eye. Sociopath. AND YOU THINK YOU GONA GET A BLOWJOB FROM ME FOR MONEY? FUCK OUT MY FACE  piece of shit. I don't sell my ass. I GOT SELF RESPECT. and its not even a matter of straight gay cause Ive fooled with men too...just the day i take money for sex is the day hell freeze over. i dont give a fuck how rich you are, you aint buying me. enough said. MS DREYFUS LET EM KNOW MA. arthur first name tokarev last name (Son of famous russian singer) and Arkadiy Tolkachev . AT , at where...pfft I haven't met one sociopath who's decent in my life. with men i dont give a fuck how rich, or how famous so on so forth. I AINT NO FUCKING WHORE. its deep sentiment. Ponchik obese retarded arab, but he got flavor tho na mean. I AINT SHALLOW EITHER OBVIOUSLY> BYE and tokarev tried to kiss me , it's cool tho he had MS so has my sympathy. I was getting high with him though otherwise I would have sucked his dick out of sympathy. true.

to START at hero when you're below zero is more complex than a marvel hero.

 LOOKS LIKE they're planning to kill me though. when you can process only so much in the short term and your brain acts ONLY on that thats a comic approach I apologise for grins that Ive caused when social concious is eliminated from the persona Ive grown a pretty big head over the years. oh, was born with one. No fatal error from the start I dont date all just be smart. TO START AT ZERO WHEN YOUR BORN BELOW LIFES HEROIC sigh have to go oh wait whats there to say about egos mines dont exist aside from around gay men >I LIKE> all that exists atm is a obese retarded pakistan boy is this guy autistic jesus  i dont want to take advantage of noone and hope i didnt but sure didnt seem like it! bye

ok

 Freedom of speech not freedom of words if they're free then I'm bored. nah words are speech im flamboyant life's a bitch. fuck these pussies and their lucies i stay smoking cigarettes butt pure in the first pull born to be mutt the mic i lit up whoda think itd that hot aside the fact that i got these voices is not hearing them clearing them mind they rott zuckerberg you say much I say lot. just too much oh well. time to go to cvs for a cigarette CIGARETTE WAS AN INSULT. thats already i never insult myself and as far as im concerned "Opinion is small talk". On small talk I saw a young lady that heavily resembled an alexis I met as a teenager. maybe fact i didnt know seldom the case interrupted my flow guy said im living the life well if im living the life call me fam cause I'm fucking your wife. Let it be I just hope they don't kill me. paranoid schizophrenia paranoia/psychosis dont last for more than a decade. I havent been able to think "clear headed i been moist fear the bread if there's a choice". "<Sexta> Embellishing retarded." im retarded its ok said my part even if i'm gay. like i said i said i dont know if im straight but in my mind iam because I prefer Nastya. or as a childhood friend called her "nasty". same guy whos pops told him "If I find out youre gay Ill kill you". so fuck him and his nasty comment guy been in love with me since we were 9. Hope his "female paul" michelle is ok. I DONT KNOW MAN WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME SO FAR AS I CAN TELL THOUGH CIGARETTE BUTTS ALL IS SWELL. so far im allowed to just be me thank you for that much. sigh my precious jessica isnt around no more I'm sorry life grew me so self-absorbed. i remember a homeless guy as a teenager he was black standing brighton beach ave every day we would smoke weed with him. we'd call him "PEta mike" in russian means "Fruity mike" guy tells me "my pops saId the russian mafia tried to recruit him one day" whoda thunk Id be a freaky peta mike in staten island one lady tells me "There aint a teenager in staten island who dont got a video of you in their phone" well GEE OK THEN "Kayla Perry" or is it Perri. she lived a floor below me for a while she knows I'm a showerless man of CLASS. I hope everything ok with her. Lol. really am sorry tho sigh  ADD CLASS TO BUM YOU MISS THE SUM. "if youre saying im too proud youre the same just too loud." - Parcissus Good night.

I'm just in high hopes my father a DECENT man who was troubled by secrecy. HIGH HOPES

 Here's wit. Post trauma I rumble OBAMA MY BUMBLE this summer I tumble in the hummer are humble. Brilliance at hand fuck the alliance Im a one man band Literary genius gone to waste thats alright I'm wearing toof paste. "Suffice to say death is near I hope I made myself dear" degree in western lit nah I read and dont remember shit. sub-arachnoid hemmorhage fucked a freak of natures brilliant mind. As a college professor handing out finals papers said "The amicable paul geller" lol as far as pops goes "When you are a married man even with just yourself you do it for family even if by yourself" - Parcissus at the moment I reckon bullets packing I get gun. Me unable to express myself is like the book without a shelf. You bother my row I murder ya so play games no more THIS COUNTRIES POLITICS RELY ON MY TICS GOD PLEASES IT SEEMS US THE REAPER HE HE GRIMS US MY YOUTH IS LONG DISTANT I FACE IT THIS INSTANT :( MADE GELLER A LEGEND NAME WITHOUT THE BADGE MUCH THE SAME  MY LIFE IS OPEN TO INTERPRETATION SOON IS BED TIME COME SEDATION. society I sleep in day dream I'm weeping. fuck your nietzche hes in the bucket tore his eye socket. whats behind honesty adds to my sum you see. Grief smoking spliff take a whiff turn stiff. role naughty nada john gotti gada. ....last but not least "I aid and heal the elf have I become a man in love with himself" Or even born to be. SIGH *Spits*

Genius in certainty not yet the curtain see.

 A grinning father a sinning mother god bless my HUMAN brother. cause im A CRIPPLED DUCK WITH THE CRAZIES NIPPLE TUCK WITH THE LAZIES. gELLER A LYRICAL GOD SEND ROCA FOLLA AINT BUT TREND. ZUCKERBERG FIRST OFF MY NAME EXCLUDED AS MY PUERTO RICAN BROTHER CONCLUDED. HEH NOW WITH GETTING OVER THE PAST YOU PUT MY EGO TO TEST.  my arrogance spittin bars im retulian from mars fuck the hollywood stars. IM SO FAR ABOVE THE MORALS OF THE MASSES RESTING ON CORALS TEACHING CLASSES. "I'm the rarest being call me creature living on welfare bum despite the fact I couldn't get any richer" - Sickly P IM AS MUCH A JUNKIE AS THE A STUDENT A FLUNKY. "juST LOOK HOW MUCH MY SUB-CONCIOUS HAD TRAPPED THE UNCONCIOUS I TAPPED" - Parcissus I don't want em makin empty promises i hope he dont i hope team obama sees past my font. Ofcourse I aint the brightest bulb in the box despite shiny pink socks. I ADD A COMEDIC TOUCH IF ITS NURTURE TOO MUCH. STOPPIN THE TOPPERS FUCK THE MAC IM ONE WITH THE WHOPPERS. thanks to pops I've NEVER had to lie aside the fact I've had to death defy. Rant #2 from sunday ends

Every addict has his norm as it may be funky and have its form.

 Can't tell the difference between right and wrong how about if it shouts wrong at you your whole life then the concept of right is eliminated. I'm NOT a sociopath though. I think over the masses they try for my classes with drugs best off take passes. I'll turn a gay man straight or decide a puzzled mans fate. MY CREDENTIAL ON THE STREET ESSENTIAL WITH HOT BEAT. ITS MURDER SHE WRONG FUCK THIRD AND SHE CHOKED. "I'm the luck of the few despite my misfortune its true" - sickly P as matt falcon named a MMORPG character for me. a game. committed to ill in treason im spraying bullets with no reason. always got something to say in my darkest time or day. saying im not a lovable guy is like the fly button without the fly. the struggling stranger carrying heat in the ranger. i panic the riddle insane i fiddle. my intimacy is immune to the ties of far reach. im in the process of fucking is it fame im dying. I love myself, take a polite pass. I've grown a pretty BIG HEAD over the years. DOUFY DUCK DUEL LAUGHING LUCK FOOL. The sorrows of aging Parcissus. 

huh

 My sub-concious been running it a long time baby. Longer than dead was and alive will be. - The american Idiot, yours truly. What's there to say about right and wrong...My mind can't differentiate between left and right. I make 3 turns walking and get lost. Aweful. IM JUST GIVING YOUR OPINIONS A DAY OFF I PLAY SOFT. lump lusty low go glowy gender. PAIN COMES SECONDARY MUCH LIKE THE TOOTH FAIRY AINT GOT NO TEETH WHATS THERE TO SAY OF PAIN - Panoleon Panobarte, yours truly.  one for your kids getting a tooth pulled! MY MOTHER AINT THE MAN ONLY CAUSE SHE WASNT BORN A MAN. ONLY REASON. SHE RAISED 100LB >MAN<. TRUE STORY MY SON back to "right and wrong" what if it shouts wrong at you your whole life from the day you were born. was DOCUMENTED. my son trump. I aint exagerating either I don't involve myself in  self-pity or attention whoring i aint a faggot. grief no spliff take a whiff turn stiff. like dostoevsky spoke of me he said " I babble because I do nothing or is it that I do nothing because I babble." on the other hand me "What's left of right I laugh in spite" - Pavel Geller. hmm..I'm done with blog-babble. Have a nice day folks. Tolka molodost svoyu vo sne ne vstretish